A Pram in the Dairy

Reflecting on Motherhood in the Dairy

I couldn’t help but think back to the early days of my babies in prams, learning to sleep to the hum of the motor, and adapting to a life that definitely didn’t follow the parenting books as I heard Tori share how important it was to have her daughter on farm alongside her

(If you haven't heard it yet, you can listen to her episode here)

I definitely don’t proclaim to have all the answers, or to have done everything right, far from it. But I do have a heap of beautiful (and chaotic) memories. There was no real plan for when I’d ‘return’ to work, we were just going to take each day as it came. And we settled into life with a baby, in hindsight pretty easily, obviously everything is better with hindsight and the beauty of time, sure there was plenty of emotions and a lot of self doubt, but that would be a similar experience for most...

Now a confession straight up, I am a TERRIBLE dairy cow, my milk came and went very quickly!! And whilst there was plenty of advice from kind hearted, well meaning people, none of it hit the mark for me, and with an incredibly supportive GP we made the move to formula pretty quickly. I had no deep desire to breastfeed, I hadn’t romanticised it, I was pretty straightforward that if it didn’t work, it didn’t work and what was best for Charlotte was to go onto formula - and I can tell you, it really was the best thing we ever did, for all of us!

The early days are a bit of a blur, it is over 10 years ago now, but one thing became clear very quickly, I wasn’t great at sitting at home. I’m sure you have all gathered by now, I like to be busy, like to have a project going and don’t really know how to ‘rest’… so for my mental health, and everyone around me’s safety I needed to be on the farm, even if it was only for some of the day. And so, with no schedule, no routine, and absolutely no clue, Charlotte came along for the ride.

We didn’t have a carefully curated nap schedule. Instead, she had a front-row seat at the dairy, starting off just milking and in the very beginning it was only afternoons. We would get up and begin our day whenever we wanted, heading to the farm to do whatever afternoon jobs were happening, often it was just us watching Rodney, Charlotte in the pram, me helping with whatever I could - even if it wasn’t physically doing much, it was being out of the house and feeling a sense of normality. Rodney would get the cows in for afternoon milking, whilst I would give Charlotte a bottle or visa versa, and then it would be time to milk.

We quickly noticed that as soon as the motor turned on, she’d drift off to sleep, tucked into her pram, and parked just off to the side of the pit, close enough to keep an eye on her, but far enough away that she wasn’t in the way.

And yes, there were plenty of days where she’d wake mid-milking and scream, but with a top up of milk or a quick change of nappy she’d fall back asleep or lay watching the light change as the cows walked past and somehow, we made it work. It became obvious that she fitted into our dairy life very easily, and it wasn’t long before I added the morning milking into the routine. She’d go to bed in a sleeping bag with the buckle holes, so I’d transfer her from bed, to the car and into the pram often without out her even waking… an absolute skill, with a self awarded medal around my neck most days thinking I had reached peak mum.

One of the best things I ever did was invest in a pram boot cover - a kind of zip-up sleeping bag that lined the pram, because even if everything around her was wet or covered in cow shit, she was warm and dry! And with the added bonus she couldn’t kick it off onto the ground. As she got older, I ordered waterproof overalls online, but I couldn’t ever find any with socks attached like a onesie, so one of our lovely friends made some, based it off an actual onesie, which worked perfectly!!

Over time, our setup evolved, and we added toys to the pram. Oh, the toys. Plastic ones, dangly ones clipped to the handlebar, noisy ones, chewy ones. Something to keep her occupied when the cows weren’t walking up the ramp, but after a couple of runs she’d be fast asleep again. It was a good 3.5 years that she slept during milking, not every time, but the mornings were almost a definite, the afternoons began to be hit and miss depending on what we’d done that day and how many other opportunities she’d had to nap. We also introduced the iPad, with music or cartoons to keep her from complaining… and boy did it save us some days!!

By the time Eleanor arrived, I was working full time on the farm. My role had grown and so had the girls. Charlotte evolved from the pram into the a camping chair, with space for toys, books, snacks, the iPad and space to have a necessary nap and the pram was back out for Eleanor and the cycle started over again. Although this time I had an overprotective sister who would put the dummy back in, feed a bottle or move the pram to keep Eleanor asleep and content. They both have since grown way too big to still be sitting in the pram or camp chair and we invested in an old couch that has since taken up residence next to the vat.

I’ve never been a helicopter mum. I didn’t have time to be. They’ve always had to be a little independent - and they are when it’s their safe space, out in the big wide world is a bit of a different story. The farm has taught them patience, they’ve learnt how to entertain themselves, and that sometimes you’ve just got to wait until mum & dad have finished whatever task we’re in the middle of. They’ve seen us work hard, be adaptable, keep trying when things get tough and they’ve experienced the deep connection and love for our animals.

Every season brings new challenges. But to watch them grow up in the dairy has been an absolute privilege. It didn’t take them for them to go from sleeping in the pram to working beside me, helping open gates, feeding calves, setting up strip grazing fences or driving the buggy/motorbike. And often, with welling tears in my eyes, I acknowledge it won't be long before they don't need me at all. But I know they'll reflect back on their childhood as an incredible one and honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing!!